Couples have sex for a number of reasons. Some do it to conceive, but for most, the reason is for pleasure. However, sometimes, even the joys of the flesh aren’t enough for certain people. But don’t take it against them as there are reasons for losing sex drive.
What is the loss of sex drive?
People have different sexual drives or desires. There are times when a person would crave for intimacy and would do almost everything to satisfy that insatiable desire. However, for some people, this kind of desire is something they would rather put off. In fact, for some, they might completely lose interest.
What are the symptoms of losing sex drive?
If you notice these signs on yourself or your partner, then maybe you’ve been having difficulty with your sex life. Symptoms include:
- Lack of interest in any sort of sexual activity, even masturbation.
- Infrequent to no sexual thoughts or fantasies.
- Having difficulty maintaining an erection.
- Being troubled by not having enough intimate moments.
- Simple ways of showing affection such as kisses and hugs become infrequent and insincere.
- The thought of sex becomes less exciting.
- Becomes easily irritated when sex is in conversation.
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What are the reasons for losing sex drive?
It’s normal for men and women to sometimes become wary of the thought of sex. There are a lot of factors that can be considered as one of the reasons for losing sex drive or libido, it includes:
Physical causes, such as:
- Painful sex or dyspareunia
- Difficulties in orgasm or arousal
- Erectile dysfunction in men
- Alcoholism, excessive smoking, and drug abuse can make you lose sex drive and make arousal difficult.
- Past surgeries in the genitalia or breasts can affect your sense of touch that can reduce your cravings for intimacy.
- Underlying health conditions such as diabetes, arthritis, cancer, as well as cardiovascular and neurological diseases.
- Side effects of certain medications such as antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and blood pressure medications. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are the most commonly prescribed antidepressant that can lessen a person’s sex drive.
- Exhaustion is one of the common reasons for losing sex drive. When you are too tired from working, studying, or when taking care of the kids, you will prioritize sleep more than sex.
- Hormonal changes due to old age, menopause, pregnancy, giving birth and breastfeeding greatly affect a woman’s libido. When a woman’s estrogen and a man’s testosterone level drops, there will be physical and sexual changes that can negatively affect their sex life.
The hormonal changes and fatigue women experienced during and after pregnancy and while breastfeeding contributes to the decrease in their libido.
Psychological causes, such as:
- Low self-esteem and confidence
- Mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.
- Stress is also one of the main reasons for losing sex drive. When your body releases too much cortisol due to stress, it can negatively affect your sexual performance and arousal.
- Body image is how a person views his/her beauty and sexual attractiveness. However, a poor body image, especially in women, causes sexual anxiety and low sexual esteem.
- Negative sexual experiences in the past, as well as a history of sexual and physical abuse.
Relationship causes, such as:
- Divorce or separation
- Lack of connection between partners
- Lack of communication and understanding between partners’ sexual preferences and needs.
- Frequent and unsolved fights or disagreements due to trust issues and other marital problems.
How to boost and bring sex drive back?
After determining what’s been causing a decrease in your libido, there are ways and treatments available that can help you increase and bring back your sex drive.
Reclaim sexual desire though sex education and counseling
It is best to get professional help if you think that you cannot talk to anyone about your sexual concerns. Undergoing sex education, therapy, or counseling, whether you are alone or with your partner, will help restore your fondness with intimacy. Sex counselors or therapists are the people you can talk to when it comes to your sex problems.
Your therapist would recommend materials and exercises that you and your partner can do to regain the intimacy in your relationship. Therapy and counseling do not only focus on restoring sexual intimacy, but it also helps restore and strengthen relationships between couples.
Medication
If medications cause your dwindling libido, then the best option is to ask your doctor if you can discontinue or replace the drugs you’re taking.
For women who have not gone through menopause, there are FDA-approved drugs that you can take to boost your sex drive.
Bremelanotide (Vyleesi)
This is an injectable drug that you administer in the skin of your belly or thigh. This drug must be used 45 minutes before any sexual activities. Vyleesi has some serious side effects that include:
- Temporary increase in blood pressure as well as a decrease in heart rate
- The skin on some parts of the body might darken
- Nausea, vomiting, hot flush, headache, fatigue, dizziness, flushing, injection site reaction, tingling, and nasal congestion
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Flibanserin (Addyi)
This is a pill type medication that you take before going to bed. Drinking alcohol before taking Addyi is prohibited, as it can cause low blood pressure and fainting. Adding also has other side effects that include:
- Sleepiness, when the drug is taken during waking hours
- Nausea, dry mouth, tiredness, and dizziness
For men who experience erectile dysfunction, here are some FDA-approved drugs that can help with your condition.
Viagra (Sildenafil)
Viagra is the most popular pill that men take to solve their sexual problems due to erectile dysfunction. Avoid taking Viagra if you are currently on medication containing nitrate. If you are allergic to sildenafil or any ingredients that compose Viagra, disregard using it. Viagra has some side effects as well, that include:
- An erection that can last for more than 4 hours
- Sudden vision loss, blurry vision, and changes in color vision
- Sudden hearing loss or muffled hearing
- Headache, upset stomach, flushing, stuffy and runny nose, back and muscle pain, dizziness, nausea, and rash.
Stendra (Avanafil)
This is another drug that treats a man’s impotence. Depending on the dosage, Stendral is usually taken 15 or 30 minutes before any sexual activities. Never take Stendra for more than once in 24 hours. Your blood may drop when Stendrea is taken along with certain medications. Stendra side effects are:
- Serious side effects such as dizziness, fainting, heart attack or stroke caused by the sudden drop of blood pressure
- Headache, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, back pain, and flushing
There are also hormonal therapies available if you experience a genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM). Hormone therapies include:
- Estrogen
- Testosterone
- Prasterone (Intrarosa)
- Ospemifene (Osphena)
Do your research and consult your doctor before trying out any of these medications and therapies.
Healthy Lifestyle
Changing your lifestyle for the better can help improve and restore your sex drive. You can:
- Exercise to increase your happy hormones and endurance, and improve your physique.
- Find a way to better cope with your stressors.
- Talk with your partner and have a mature conversation about intimacy, sex, and your relationship. Communicate about your preferences, needs, and dislikes when it comes to sex.
- Always make time for intimacy. Normally, you don’t get to do it every day. However, setting a time for it makes the bond between you and your partner better.
- Be more adventurous and try things that can spice up your sex life. Try different positions, toys, and make sure to have a lot more time for foreplay. Doing this will excite you and your partner every time you plan on quenching your sexual appetite and fantasies.
- Avoid habits that can decrease your sex drives, such as abuse of alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs.
Key takeaways
Losing your sex drive isn’t because you just don’t feel it anymore. But because of certain reasons that cause your libido to drop. For you to bounce back and take control of your sexuality, try changing your lifestyle or ask professionals for help.
Learn more about Sexual Wellness, here.
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