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7 Myths About Male Sexuality, Debunked

7 Myths About Male Sexuality, Debunked

Not everyone is comfortable when it comes to talking about sex, especially in a conservative country such as the Philippines. Rarely do you hear people ask questions such as “how long can the average guy stay hard?” or “how do I use a condom?” Here, learn 7 myths about men and their sexuality.

7 Myths About Men and Sex

Not talking about sex causes a lot of confusion and spreads misinformation. It gets worse when people get their information about sex from what they see on television or on films. The sex that we see in media is different from sex in real life, resulting in myths and misconceptions.

These myths can make men feel insecure about themselves, and develop fears about being unable to satisfy their partners or have an fulfilling sex life.

Myth 1: Bigger is always better

Let us start with the most common and widespread myth when it comes to male sexuality. The myth of “bigger is always better.” Having a bigger penis does not necessarily mean that you are better in bed, or that you can satisfy your partner better.

The truth is that penises come in all shapes and sizes, and size is not the only thing that matters during sex. In fact, being connected with your partner, listening to their needs, and being considerate during sex have more to do with satisfaction rather than penis size.

Myth 2: Sex should last a long time

Another common myth about male sexuality is that sex should last a long time. This might be fueled by porn wherein the performers seem to have sex for hours on end, without stopping.

But the reality is that sex does not necessarily last that long. In fact, based on a survey done among sex therapists in the United States and Canada, about 7 to 13 minutes was the average length of sex that was deemed to be pleasurable. Any more than that was deemed uncomfortable, and any less than that was too short.

Another study also found that the average length of time before a man reaches climax during sex was about 5.4 minutes. This fits in with the conclusion that sex does not need to really last as long as most people think it should. What matters more is that both you and your partner are satisfied during sex, no matter how short or long it lasted.

Myth 3: You need to maintain an erection for a long time

When it comes to the question of how long can the average guy stay hard, an erection usually lasts for about 25-30 minutes.

But if you are not able to maintain your erection for 25-30 minutes, you should not be worried immediately. Factors such as anxiety, depression, stress, and overall health can affect your erection. By addressing these concerns, you should be able to maintain an erection for longer.

Myth 4: Men are always in the mood for sex

This myth is very widespread and leads to the notion that the only thing that men want is sex. But the reality is just like women, men have ups and downs when it comes to their sex drive.

The myth that men should always be ready for sex can sometimes cause problems in bed. Some men may feel pressured to perform, even when they are not really in the mood for sex. This can lead to them being distracted, or not being as present as they should be during intercourse. In some cases, the anxiety they feel can even cause them to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

This is also one reason why men are always wondering about “how long can the average guy stay hard?” Because they are worried that they might not be able to perform during sex. This could make a man feel inadequate, and not able to pleasure his partner, leading to even more anxiety and the inability to enjoy having sex.

Men need to know that it is okay to not be in the mood. There are other ways to have sex without penetration, and it can also be pleasurable so long as you know what you are doing.

The Health Risks of Frequent Masturbation

Myth 5: You need to have an erection to have sex

Some men believe that sex is just penetrative sex, and that they need to have an erection in order to have sex. This is also why some men tend to get hung up about the question of “how long can the average guy stay hard?” since they believe that sex always involves penetration.

Foreplay, oral sex, and other forms of touching can be just as pleasurable as sex. Sometimes mixing it up can even improve a couple’s sex life! So do not be afraid to use toys or other means of having sex with your partner. Feel free to explore and try different things to keep it interesting.

Myth 6: You need to have an orgasm to be satisfied

This is another myth that men are susceptible to believe. While having an orgasm feels good, it is just as fine to not have one when having sex. Having “blue balls” might not be a fun feeling, but it does not cause any damage, nor is it bad for your health.

The problem with this myth lies when men are too focused on giving themselves an orgasm. They forget about their partner’s pleasure. So it is important for men to focus more on the act of having sex itself. This will make the experience much more meaningful and enjoyable.

Myth 7: Men are done with sex once they have an orgasm

This last one is a prevailing myth that can sometimes cause couples to have problems in bed. There is a myth that once a man has an orgasm, then the sex is immediately done, regardless of whether or not his partner is satisfied or not.

But this is not always the case. There is what is called a refractory period, or the period after an orgasm when a man can have sex again. Usually, this is around 15-20 minutes for a healthy male. This means that after a 15-20 minute break, most men are able to have sex again without any problems.

Hopefully, this cleared up some myths and common misconceptions about male sexuality. It is important to keep yourself informed about these things in order to have a more enjoyable sex life.

 

Learn more about Sexual Wellness here.

Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Sources

The Truth About Orgasms | Winchester Hospital, https://www.winchesterhospital.org/health-library/article?id=14487, Accessed June 29 2020

The Myths About Male Sexuality, https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/1445/the-myths-about-male-sexuality, Accessed June 29 2020

Attitudes about sexuality and aging – Harvard Health, https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/attitudes-about-sexuality-and-aging, Accessed June 29 2020

Sex Myths – Centre for Sexuality, https://www.centreforsexuality.ca/sexual-health-info/sex-myths/, Accessed June 29 2020

Men’s Sexuality: Myths and Facts, https://www.plannedparenthood.org/files/4614/0134/0619/Male_Sexuality_Myths_and_Facts.pdf, Accessed June 29 2020

A Multinational Population Survey of Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time – PubMed, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16422843/, Accessed June 29 2020

5 penis facts – NHS, https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/five-penis-facts/, Accessed June 29 2020

Canadian and American Sex Therapists’ Perceptions of Normal and Abnormal Ejaculatory Latencies: How Long Should Intercourse Last? – The Journal of Sexual Medicine, https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(15)32017-8/fulltext, Accessed June 29 2020

 

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Written by Jan Alwyn Batara Updated Dec 23, 2020
Medically reviewed by Elfred Landas, M.D.
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