While it’s true that we experience a lot of physical changes as we age, it doesn’t necessarily mean that sex after ages 50, 60, and 70 is no longer exciting and pleasurable. How can older people have a fulfilling sex life?
How Sex Changes as Women Age
Most of the physical changes that affect sexual activities in women happen at the onset of their menopause because of the decreased estrogen levels. From there, the changes become more pronounced. These changes could be part of the reason why, according to one report, 40% of women ages 65 to 74 years old stated that they experienced a decline in their sexual activity.
- Generally, a woman’s sex drive at 50 may slow down. In fact, the decrease in libido might happen even as early as in their 40s.
- Women may need to have more time to feel sexually excited. Accounts from ladies indicated that in most instances, their mind is turned on, but their body is not “quite there” yet.
- The vaginal walls become thinner, smaller, and dryer. This can lead to painful and uncomfortable intercourse.
- Furthermore, women tend to become more sensitive as they age. Due to this increased sensitivity, what used to be pleasurable may become irritating or painful.
- Their orgasms may also be delayed, and when women experience them, the climax might be shorter and less intense.
What You Can Do
Since most of the changes above are inevitable, couples can try to adapt to have a fulfilling sex life. One thing they can do is to engage in longer foreplay. This is to address the woman’s need for more time to become sexually aroused
While younger women just need several minutes of foreplay, older ladies might need hours – some even as long as 24 hours – to be physically ready. But does that mean that couples need 24 hours of cuddling, kissing, and touching? Not really.
According to experts, foreplay shouldn’t be confined to physical intimacy. The act of talking, communicating what you want, and even shopping for lubricants and sex toys could be a part of foreplay.
Finally, women also have the option to consult a doctor to talk about the possibility of hormone therapy. This therapy generally aims to replace the lost estrogen. When successful, the hormone can alter the changes in a woman’s body and make sex more fulfilling.
How Sex Changes as Men Age
While a man’s sex drive at 50 also slows down, reports say that several men can actually retain some of their sexual desires even at 60 and 70. In fact, in one study, 70% of men above the age of 70 still report sexual activity. Interestingly, this sexual activity they referred to is penetrative sex.
The reason for this could be that a man’s sexual drive is more likely to be affected by his attitude and health condition than by his age. Hence, a healthy man with a strong attitude towards sex can attain more sexual pleasure.
- Sex in men after ages 50, 60, and 70 is different. For one, older men might be at risk of erectile dysfunction.
- Additionally, they also need more time to experience sexual arousal or to have an erection. When they do get an erection, it is less firm than when they were younger.
- Older men might also have delayed ejaculation.
- And finally, they need a longer refractory period. The refractory period is the time between one orgasm and when a man is physically ready to go again.
What You Can Do
Because health conditions and attitudes toward intimacy greatly affect a man’s sex drive at 50 or older, it’s important to address any issue that comes from both aspects.
The more managed a health concern is, the less likely that it will affect a man’s sex drive. For this reason, don’t forget to regularly consult your doctor. Discuss with them how your condition is affecting your sex life and be receptive to their suggestions.
To help improve their attitude towards sex, couples should be open. Be honest about what the problems are and discuss ways that could make sex more pleasurable.
Additional Tips to Have Good Sex at Any Age
More than the suggestions discussed above, couples can also consider the following measures:
- Experiment with sexual positions. This tip is especially helpful if couples experience pain related to musculoskeletal disorders, such as arthritis. Some positions also help alleviate the symptoms of urinary incontinence.
- Decide on when you’ll have sex. Since some aches tend to be more severe either in the morning or night, you can choose to have sex in the middle of the day. Similarly, you can change your routine depending on when you have the most energy and mood for sex.
- Set the mood. Many experts emphasize that the most important erogenous zone is the mind. Thus, fantasy and imagination can make the arousal more intense. Set the mood by lighting a candle, playing soft music, or doing things that “turn you on.”
- Don’t forget the lubricants. To help with pain, consider using some water-based lubricants.
- Take your time. Because a person’s sex drive at 50 experiences some setbacks, couples sometimes rush into the experience. Instead of just “getting it over with,” stretch the time for intimacy. Go for a romantic dinner, relax, touch your partner, and encourage them to touch you back.
- Stay playful. Despite all the changes you experience, remember that it’s okay to be playful. The truth is experts say that being playful helps you find what works for you. Don’t be afraid to tease or tickle your partner and do things you both consider as “fun.”
Above all, it’s important to accept who you are right now. Look back on your experience, but don’t hold back in looking forward. Despite how different sex is after ages 50, 60, and 70, couples should always celebrate their intimacy with one another.
Learn more about Healthy Aging here.
Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.