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Talking to Your Partner About Sex: How Should You Go About It?

Talking to Your Partner About Sex: How Should You Go About It?

Here in the Philippines, the topic of sex isn’t something that people talk about openly. In fact, the taboo on sex is so prevalent that even couples can sometimes feel awkward talking about sex with each other. However, talking to your partner about sex is an important part of any relationship. In fact, it can even help improve your sex life and make it more pleasurable.

Here are some things that you need to know.

talking to your partner about sex

Talking to Your Partner About Sex

Talking about sex can sometimes feel awkward. Even if you’re talking to your partner, it can sometimes feel taboo, or it could feel “wrong” to broach the topic.

A lot of people are afraid that their partner might take it the wrong way, or they might feel offended. Others feel that it shouldn’t even be talked about, and its something that just “happens.” Some think that any problems they have in bed will just go away, and could get better over time.

Regardless of the reason, it is clear that not all couples are open to each other about sex. But why is talking to your partner about sex so important?

Why Does It Even Matter?

Communication is very important in all relationships. Being open with one another about your likes, dislikes, plans for the future, and even your fears and worries can help strengthen your relationship.

The same goes for your sex life. Its difficult to expect that your partner will know exactly what things you like in bed without communication1. No amount of experience can let them know that. And sometimes your likes and dislikes in the bedroom can change, or maybe you want to try out something new. Maybe you want to use a different type of contraceptive, or you’re worried that you might be having unsafe sex.

Likewise, your partner might have some thoughts about sex that they’re having a hard time communicating. If this happens, couples might feel unsatisfied, or sex might feel like a chore, or even bothersome.

So it is important to keep an open line of communication to figure these things out. It’s not always easy, but it’s something that you and your partner can work on.

What You Should Do

One of the first things you need to do would be to try and jot down what you want to talk about. You can just list down some bullet points to help you remember things that you want to discuss.

Another thing to consider is when and where to bring it up. Of course, talking about it right after sex can feel awkward or even hurtful. Try and find a good time and place where you can discuss things openly2.

Its also important to make it clear to your partner that while you enjoy the sex, there are some things you feel could spice things up3. Framing it in a nice way can help avoid hurt feelings, and make your partner better understand what you mean.

If there are some things you don’t like, its also important to be very clear about it. It can be a hard topic to bring up, but its something that your partner needs to know4.

Additionally, you also have to be prepared if your partner opens up. Be receptive to what they want to say, and have an open mind about these things. Sex is something that gets better over time, and not all couples get it right instantly.

The important thing to remember is that the both of you are communicating what you want to happen during sex. This makes it a much more enjoyable experience and can help strengthen the relationship5.

Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Sources
  1. Talking to Your Partner About Sex | Sexual Communication, https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/how-do-i-talk-my-partner-about-sex, Accessed November 3, 2021
  2. I don’t know how to talk to my partner about sex | Relate, https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-sex/sex-common-problems/, Accessed November 3, 2021i-dont-know-how-talk-my-partner-about-sex
  3. Talking about Sex, https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/talking-about-sex/, Accessed November 3, 2021
  4. Talking About Sex With Your Partner – Our Bodies Ourselves, https://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book-excerpts/health-article/talking-about-sex/, Accessed November 3, 2021
  5. Let’s talk about sex | HPRC, https://www.hprc-online.org/social-fitness/couples-intimacy/lets-talk-about-sex, Accessed November 3, 2021
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Written by Jan Alwyn Batara Updated 4 weeks ago
Fact Checked by Bianchi Mendoza, R.N.