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How Often Should Couples Have Sex?

How Often Should Couples Have Sex?

Sex is one of the ways couples get physically and emotionally intimate with one another. It also has many other purported benefits, including better sleep, headache relief, and improved mood. But, how often should couples have sex? What is too few and what’s too much? Find out here.

How Often Should Couples Have Sex?

One study showed that most couples are sexually intimate at least once a week. In a separate study, researchers discovered that partners who have sex weekly are the happiest.

Experts surmised that once a week is a good number: it maintains intimacy, gives people the feeling of having an active sex life, and provides them with something to look forward to. In other words, partners who have sex weekly feel that sex is special and not just a routine.

Once a Week is Not Applicable To Everyone

Despite how “ideal” having sex once a week sounds, experts understand that it’s not a good number for everyone. They highlight that ultimately, the frequency of sex depends on the couple and that they shouldn’t try to follow a pattern that worked for others.

The goal is for couples to be satisfied. Hence, if they are satisfied with the frequency of their sexual intimacy, that’s great.

Remember That The Frequency Changes, So Focus on Quality

While the majority of people who participated in studies said they have sex once a week, remember that it’s not set in stone. Case in point: the frequency of sex often declines with age. Other factors, such as stress and busy schedules should also be considered.

For this reason, experts urge couples to focus on quality.

Below are some tips to have a better sex life:

Don’t Hesitate to Talk about Sex

One of the first steps to take to have a more satisfying sex life is to talk about sex.

Be honest about what you like and what seems off. However, be sure to say so in a positive way. It will also help to talk about your worries or the changes your body experiences.

Remember That Sex Is Just One Form of Intimacy

Keep in mind that sex is just one way to be intimate with your partner. Other things like affectionate touching, spending time with each other, and even talking help bring you closer to one another.

Try Different Positions

Sometimes, all you need to do to spice up your sex life is to try something new. Consider talking to your partner about a new position you want to try, and then try to do it in the bedroom.

Consider Scheduling Sex

Scheduling sex might make you feel and think that sex is obligatory, but many couples swear by the benefits of actually putting intimacy in their calendars. For them, having a schedule means accepting that they need to make time for each other. Furthermore, it gives them something to be excited about.

If you want to schedule sex, be sure to talk to each other about the day and time that works for both of you. Of course, do your best to stick to the schedule, but be prepared to do a rain check if things don’t go as planned.

Finally, be open to the kind of intimacy involved. There may be times when you don’t want to have penetrative sex, and all you want to do is cuddle or kiss. That, too, is okay, because what’s important is intimacy.

Key Takeaways

How often should couples have sex? Most people have sex once a week, and one report said this kind of schedule makes them the happiest. Still, when and how often couples choose to be intimate with each other depends entirely on them. Instead of focusing on the quantity, focus on the quality of intimacy.

Learn more about Sexual Wellness here.

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Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Sources

Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, 1989–2014
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-017-0953-1
Accessed August 25, 2021

Couples who have sex weekly are happiest
https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/654391
Accessed August 25, 2021

How much sex should couples have? Here’s what experts say.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2020/02/07/how-much-sex-should-couples-have/4680968002/
Accessed August 25, 2021

How often couples should have sex, according to 3 sex therapists
https://www.insider.com/how-often-do-couples-have-sex
Accessed August 25, 2021

11 ways to help yourself to a better sex life
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/11-ways-to-help-yourself-to-a-better-sex-life
Accessed August 25, 2021

Tips to Improve Your Sex Life
https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm#
Accessed August 25, 2021

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Written by Lorraine Bunag, R.N. Updated Aug 26, 2021
Fact Checked by Kristel Dacumos-Lagorza