Praising things that out of their control
Another thing to watch out for is praising children for things not under their control. Telling them “you’re so pretty” and “your voice is great,” isn’t bad per se. But praising them for those things alone doesn’t help motivate them.
Tips When Praising Children
If you want to make the most of the praises you give your children, keep the following tips in mind:
Be specific
What exactly is your child receiving the praise for? Instead of saying “good job at the restaurant today,” tell them instead “thank you for waiting patiently for me to finish talking with my friend.”
Stay honest
Children can know when you’re not being sincere with your praises. If you tell them “You were the best player in the field,” when another classmate obviously did better, they might think you’re not paying attention to them or that you don’t believe they can do any better.
Praise the effort and focus on progress
Try not to compare your children to others. Instead, focus on how they performed and then help them reflect on how they feel about their own achievement.
In our marathon example, it’s not necessarily bad for all to receive a medal. But, it might help if you praise your child by saying, “Congratulations on finishing the race, how do you feel about it? Do you think it was your best effort?”
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