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Sex Dreams: Why You Have Them And What They Mean

Sex Dreams: Why You Have Them And What They Mean

Do you have sex dreams? Are you worried that they mean something bad, particularly when you are in a healthy relationship and dream of having sex with another person? How do you make sense of them? In this article, we’ll talk about sex dreams and their possible meanings. 

What Are Sex Dreams?

Sex dreams are generally dreams that elicit arousal or orgasm in people. However, some likewise consider it an erotic dream when they dream of any form of sexual activity. 

In women, sex dreams (wet dreams) often cause an increase in lubrication (wetness). Men may find themselves ejaculating while asleep. 

If you’re worried about having them, please note that they are normal. Reports say 70% of people have them at least once in their life. 

But, the questions still abound: Are wet dreams trying to tell you something? Does it mean you’re in need of some sizzle in your bedsheets? Does it point to dissatisfaction with your current partner?

The Science Behind Sex Dreams

The theories behind wet dreams are the same with those about dreams in general. Experts speculate that dreams are:

  • Unwanted thoughts or wrong information, which, if not eliminated, could disrupt our system (they might become the basis for paranoia or obsession). 
  • Behaviors we don’t encounter during the day, hence we “rehearse” them in our dreams. 
  • A way to transfer information between parts of the brain. This could also mean dreams are a way by which our brain trains in prioritization, problem-solving, and recalling. 
  • A way to prepare for real-life situations
  • Simply the side effects of deep sleep

Of course, these are just theories. We still do not have an absolute, scientifically-acceptable reason behind dreams. 

Common Sex Dreams And Potential Meanings

Wondering what your wet dreams mean? Consider these:

Infidelity

Are you in a relationship, but still dream of having sex with other people? Or perhaps you dream of your partner cheating on you? Maybe you are experiencing some kind of jealousy. 

In one investigation about dreams: “Findings reveal that people who scored high in romantic jealousy also had dream imagery of infidelity and dream meaning (discovery) associated with infidelity.

Sex With An Ex-Partner

If you’re in a relationship, sex with an ex-partner could mean you are still processing your current relationship or grieving the loss of the last one. If you’re single and looking to date someone, it’s less likely that you’ll dream of the people you dated before. 

Sex With A Stranger

Sex with a stranger could only indicate normal sex drive. If you’re in a relationship, it’s not an automatic indication that you have the desire to cheat. 

Sex With An Authority 

If, in your dreams, you’re having sex with an authority figure (your boss, teacher, etc.), experts say it might mean that you are seeking their approval. 

Should You Worry About Sex Dreams?

It may be confusing or even uncomfortable to have wet dreams from time to time, but generally, they should not be a cause of concern. 

As mentioned earlier, wet dreams are common, especially during puberty. They do not affect your physical health. They do not damage your reproductive organs nor do they decrease sperm cells. 

To date, there’s no way to prevent having wet dreams. 

If your sex dreams give you significant discomfort or stress, it’s best to consult a healthcare professional. 

Key Takeaways

Like dreams, in general, sex dreams are difficult to interpret. So far, we know that they are normal (particularly for adolescents) and that they do not appear to cause any physical harm. Since there’s still no absolute science behind the content of our dreams, we also cannot give definitive meanings to each kind of wet dream a person experiences. 

Learn more about Sex Tips here

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Disclaimer

Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

  1. Sexual dream and family relationships in frequent sexual dreamers and healthy volunteers, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32899040/, Accessed March 21, 2022
  2. The Possible Functions of REM Sleep and Dreaming, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK11121/, Accessed March 21, 2022
  3. Why do we dream when we sleep?, https://www.piedmont.org/living-better/why-do-we-dream-when-we-sleep#:~:text, Accessed March 21, 2022 
  4. An investigation among dreams with sexual imagery, romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction, https://journals.ub.uni-heidelberg.de/index.php/IJoDR/article/view/472, Accessed March 21, 2022
  5. What Do Sex Dreams Mean?, https://www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/dream-interpretation/dreaming-about-sex, Accessed March 21, 2022
  6. What Are Wet Dreams?, https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/expert-wet-dreams.html, Accessed March 21, 2022

Current Version

08/04/2022

Written by Lorraine Bunag, R.N.

Expertly reviewed by Dexter Macalintal, MD

Updated by: Dexter Macalintal, MD


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Expertly reviewed by

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Written by Lorraine Bunag, R.N. · Updated Aug 04, 2022

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