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I Think My Child Is Becoming Spoiled: How Can I "Undo" It?

Expertly reviewed by Dexter Macalintal, MD · Internal or General Medicine

Written by Lorraine Bunag, R.N. · Updated Aug 03, 2022

    I Think My Child Is Becoming Spoiled: How Can I "Undo" It?

    It’s the little things your child does that make you wonder: Am I raising a “spoiled brat?” If so, how do I undo it? In this article, we’ll talk about the steps you can take to raise a good, kind, and responsible child. 

    What Are The Signs That A Child Is  Spoiled?

    Loving your children is part and parcel of parenting. You want to give them nothing but the best, protect them from harm, and to let them know you always got their back.

    But, sometimes, overindulging and overprotecting kids may result in them making more demands and feeling entitled to things. Hence, “overparenting” increases the risk of raising kids who put themselves at the center and depend on you for almost everything. 

    What are the signs that you’re raising a “spoiled brat?” Your child may be a little spoiled when they:

    • Do not like listening to commands or “stop” and “no”
    • Are not cooperative when you suggest things (which means they like things their way)
    • Cannot distinguish the line between what they need and what they want
    • Make excessive demands
    • Care very little (or not at all) for the rights of others
    • Cannot tolerate frustrations well
    • Have the tendency to whine, complain, or have tantrums

    “I Think I’ve Raised A Spoiled Brat, How Do I Undo It?”

    Before anything else, please don’t be too hard on yourself. 

    You might be figuring out that your child is becoming a spoiled brat, but in no way does it mean that you’re doing “bad” parenting. Come to think of it, your ways come from a place of love. 

    Besides, there’s no clear line that separates spoiling and nurturing, just like there’s no absolute parenting manual. 

    The good news is that you can do many things to raise a good, kind person. Consider trying the following:

    Be Their External Control As They Develop Self-Control

    One of the first things to do to stop a child from being a “spoiled brat” is to discipline them. 

    Experts say it should start the minute a child can crawl. It’ll be good for them to hear the word “no” occasionally. Don’t worry, your baby will still love you even if you discipline them. 

    Also, please avoid giving in to tantrums. As long as they are safe while they’re crying, experts say you can “ignore” them. They also do not recommend “negotiations.”

    Until they have self-discipline and self-control, take charge and be their external control. 

    Assign Them Chores

    Age-appropriate chores have many benefits. For instance, chores help teach independence in kids and give them opportunities to be responsible. 

    They might not be able to do chores right the first few times and it might even result in more work for you. Be patient and continue assigning them tasks. 

    Set Rules and Routine And Stick With Them

    Rules and routines are a part of helping them develop discipline. Give them consequences for not following hard rules (like not hitting other kids, staying in the car seat, etc.). 

    Enforce rules and discipline even during fun activities. If you’re not at home, find a quiet, private area to let them know what they’ve done and the consequences they might face. 

    Teach Them to Say Thank You

    Teaching kids to say “thank you” can prevent them from becoming a spoiled child. Gratitude is associated with the state of overall well-being. On top of that, showing gratitude helps kids appreciate the things that others do for them. 

    Teach Them Good Manners

    If you’re worrying about raising a “spoiled brat,” it’s best to teach your child to mind their manners. Besides saying “thank you,” know that the little things, such as speaking politely, having table manners, and showing sportsmanship, count a lot. 

    Avoid Rescuing Your Child From Simple Problems

    Be supportive, but experts say it’s best for kids to solve their little problems and handle normal life stressors. That way, they can learn independence and develop their problem solving skills. 

    Let Them Appreciate The Value Of Money

    Showing them the value of money can prevent them from being a spoiled child. Tell them how much things cost and why your family is under a budget. Once they have their allowance, teach them to manage it, too. 

    Do you have other tips for parents out there who don’t want their child to be a “spoiled brat?” Share them with us in the comments section. You can also start a discussion in our parenting community.

    Learn more about Parenting here


    Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

    Expertly reviewed by

    Dexter Macalintal, MD

    Internal or General Medicine

    Written by Lorraine Bunag, R.N. · Updated Aug 03, 2022

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