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Platonic Parenting: What Is It And How Does It Work?

Medically reviewed by Mae Charisse Antalan, MD · General Practitioner

Written by China Logarta · Updated Aug 30, 2022

    Platonic Parenting: What Is It And How Does It Work?

    You’ve probably heard of two best friends making a pact to get together or have a child together if they’re still single by a certain age. You might’ve even done that yourself. Over the recent decades, families have evolved from the traditional mom-dad-child setup to more unconventional types. Many people have taken up platonic parenting, for instance. In this article, we’ll talk about this child-rearing arrangement, how it works and what benefits it provides for both the parents and the child.

    What is platonic parenting?

    This arrangement refers to one in which two people not in a romantic relationship decide to raise a child together. It is also called co-parenting. Members of the LGBTQ community, exes, and long-time friends who want to rear a child together are just some types of people who get into platonic parenting.

    Such arrangements exist in the Philippines too. Former couples benefit from it because it allows them to have a better custody setup for the kids they share.

    Platonic parenting is associated with less frequent fights between co-parents, more secure children, and greater flexibility in terms of raising the child. For parents providing financial support to their ex-partners, it encourages better child support payments. 

    Why do people enter into it?

    Various studies have demonstrated the connection between parent relationship quality and outcomes for children and families. People who are solely interested in having children enter into such arrangements. According to an article, there are online apps and websites that connect people with similar goals. App creators recommend that before people get involved in platonic parenting, they get to know each other first.

    Parents who have healthier relationships with each other tend to have well-adjusted children. These kids grow up to have positive notions of marriage and relationships. It also affects their ability to enter into such relationships when they’re older.

    Similarly, parents who have difficult relationships tend to affect the kids negatively. It affects their physical health, academic performance, and psychological and social outcomes. According to the study, this is true for families of various backgrounds in terms of child gender, age, family type, race and ethnicity, and economic status.

    What are the benefits of platonic parenting to the child?

    • Stability: Children need consistency. They need to know what to expect in terms of communication and schedules between co-parents.
    • Less emotional burden on kids: Unhealthy relationships between parents might force the child to provide emotional support that they’re not mature enough to give. Co-parenting lifts this emotional stress off the children. 
    • Conflict resolution: Like any other family, co-parents teach by example. As a result, kids may learn about relationships and how to resolve problems that may arise from less-than-favorable situations.

    What are its disadvantages?

    • Clashing schedules: Platonic parenting may present the challenge of different work schedules. That might make finding common ground between co-parents challenging. In such cases, they will have to make concessions for child-rearing responsibilities.
    • Differing views: Co-parents could also experience having opposing views when it comes to parenting or disciplining styles.

    Key Takeaway

    The world has changed so much in the past decades. The definition of ‘family’ is no exception. Platonic parenting has allowed people to realize their dreams of raising kids without having to get into romantic relationships. Like any parenting style, platonic parents should remember to stay on the same page regarding the child’s behavior, discipline methods, and parenting style. For ex-couples who decide to co-parent, they must remember to acknowledge each other’s value to the kids. They should set aside personal differences for their sake. The nature of parents rarely matters, as long as they put the child first.

    Learn more about Parenting here.


    Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

    Medically reviewed by

    Mae Charisse Antalan, MD

    General Practitioner

    Written by China Logarta · Updated Aug 30, 2022

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