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How to Discipline Without Yelling or Hitting: 5 Ways to Discipline Your Child

Medically reviewed by Ruben Macapinlac, MD, DPPS · Pediatrics · Philippine Pediatric Society


Written by Jan Alwyn Batara · Updated Sep 08, 2022

    How to Discipline Without Yelling or Hitting: 5 Ways to Discipline Your Child

    Knowing how to discipline without yelling or hitting isn’t always easy. This is especially true for parents who grew up being spanked or shouted at as a child.

    The problem with spanking and yelling is that it only serves to sow fear into a child. As far as discipline goes, it’s not really effective, and doesn’t teach any long-term lessons for children. In fact, spanking and shouting at your child can make them feel very humiliated. This can eventually lead to problems with anger, aggression, as well as resentment when they grow up1.

    This is why it’s important for parents to avoid doing these things if they want to take good care of their children.

    How to Discipline Without Yelling or Hitting

    Here are 5 things to remember when it comes to disciplining your child:

    1. Be a good role model for your child

    First off, you are your child’s role model. This means that whatever examples you set, your child will be basing their behaviors based on what you do. If you do positive things, then your child will follow suit. However, if you have bad behavior, then chances are, your child will think that it’s okay to act that way.

    You need to model the behavior that you want your child to develop. For example, if you want them to be honest, then you should always be honest, especially if your child can see you. You’ll need to be mindful of your words and actions, so that you can be the best role model for your child.

    2. Set limits and be clear with those limits

    Next up on how to discipline without yelling or hitting is to set limits and be very clear with those limits. If you set certain house rules, be sure to explain to your child why those rules are in place.

    For example, instead of telling them to just stop watching TV, it would be better to explain why they should do so. Explaining to them why you set those rules allows them to understand why they need to follow those rules.

    This is a good way to make them understand that limits are there for a reason, and not just a way for you to “boss” your kid around.

    3. Give consequences for bad behavior

    Another way to discipline without yelling or hitting is to give consequences for bad behavior. For example, if your child didn’t do their chores or their assignment, the consequence would be less screen time. Or you could ask them to do some extra chores for a week in order to compensate for the chores they missed. One method to try is “Time Out” or “Face The Wall,” where in they need to spend a few minutes in quiet. The duration for the time out is the child’s age multiplied by time.

    Consequences need to be realistic, and they should serve as a learning experience to let your child know that they can’t simply do things as they wantNote, however, that positive reinforcement is still better. 

    4. Encourage good behavior

    Fourth on the ways of how to discipline without yelling or hitting is to encourage good behavior. If you’re going to give consequences for bad behavior, then good behavior should be encouraged or even rewarded. This lets your child know that doing the right thing has positive results, and it also makes them feel acknowledged.

    Always praise your child if they do good, and let them know that you appreciate what they are doing. This makes them feel seen and loved, and would encourage them to do more good in the future.

    5. Don’t give up

    Last on the list of how to discipline without yelling or hitting is to never give up. Disciplining children isn’t always easy, especially for kids who tend to be a bit naughty. If your child doesn’t quickly learn the right behavior, that’s fine. Teaching them can take some time.

    The important thing is that you’re consistent, and you’re always doing your best to avoid hitting or yelling at your child. Eventually, they will learn the right behavior so long as you don’t give up.

    Finally, if a negative behavior of a child is too much for the parents, they must seek consult to their pediatrician, it is a probable sign that there is a behavioral problem if their child is difficult to control

    Learn more about Parenting here

    Disclaimer

    Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

    Medically reviewed by

    Ruben Macapinlac, MD, DPPS

    Pediatrics · Philippine Pediatric Society


    Written by Jan Alwyn Batara · Updated Sep 08, 2022

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