Perhaps you noticed some patterns in your love life, or even in your friendships at school or work. These patterns are manifested from your attachment styles, whether they affect you negatively or positively. Of course, we all would like to build healthy relationships with others, and the best way to do that is to understand your behavior in a relationship. Understanding your attachment styles allows you to observe yourself objectively, providing insights into the kind of relationships you may develop. Bowlby identified four of the most common styles: secure, anxious/ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized attachment.
Secure Attachment
Are you comfortable with expressing your emotions and opening up to others? When it comes to receiving and providing emotional support, a person with a secure attachment style is often stable. Children who receive consistent care from their caregivers develop this attachment, becoming reliable and honest people. In adult relationships, people with a secure attachment rarely feel anxiety with their partners.
Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment
Children who get inconsistent care from their caregivers, on the other hand, develop anxious or ambivalent attachment. Because their caregivers were unpredictable, anxious children are very clingy and do not explore their surroundings in fear of being abandoned by their parents. As a result, people with anxious attachment become very dependent on their partners. They are also heavily invested in their relationships, becoming obsessive, easily jealous, and sometimes manipulative. Anxious people constantly question their worth, worry about losing their partners, and are observant of any signs that their partners are becoming distant.
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